tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57251146935081271372024-03-14T01:48:10.960-06:00The SuperCandid PodcastThe number 1 podcast & blog on Christian movies, with honest opinions and news!jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.comBlogger318125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-40586441922716703972011-06-18T19:46:00.001-06:002011-06-18T21:37:41.539-06:00Video Update: This is why we quit reviewing Christian MoviesStephen Colbert describes pretty much <strike>all</strike> Christian "thrillers" or Christian "horror" movies.<br />
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<b><a href="http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/389738/june-15-2011/the-word---shock-the-vote">The Colbert Report</a></b></div><br />
Tags: <a href="http://www.colbertnation.com/full-episodes/">Colbert Report Full Episodes</a>,<a href="http://www.indecisionforever.com/">Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>,<a href="http://www.colbertnation.com/video">Video Archive</a><br />
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Been awhile, sorry. <br />
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This is one that I try to do daily. It's just a part of my life. Today, I took care of some chores while letting Nicole watch a show she likes on TV. These are easy kinds of things. The hard part is when it's really a sacrafice. When I have to give up something I like for her. For the most part though, it's not really even a burden. It's just what I do. <br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #febf72; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span><br />
This is an issue Nicole & I have struggled with forever. Since before we were married. Usually about silly things, like how often we go to the gym, or how little money we spend on clothes, but sometimes about important things, like when we're going to have children or how we treat our families. <br />
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We always expect too much. We want our spouse to be ourselves, and more. We want our spouse to be better than us. If I blow off a day at the gym, I'll give myself a pass because I'm tired, or hungry, or it's cloudy out or there's a big bee near the car. If Nicole wants to blow off the gym, suddenly I turn into a mix of coach and nag, alternating between telling her how much she owes it to herself to go to the gym and harranging her about how she doesn't go enough or work out hard enough, or whatever.<br />
<br />
Getting past this is just a part of being married, and you'll never really get past it. You just have to learn to live with it, learn to admit that your spouse is no more perfect than you. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://supercandid.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-dare-part-25-letting-go.html">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon.</a><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;">This was actually the hardest of the dares so far, since I had to really think about what I could ask for forgiveness for or admit that I have't already done so. I ended up kind of cheating by asking Nicole to help with this one, and she had a few things to say. Most of them were things we had already talked about, but it was a good conversation to have. This might be the most productive of all the love dares yet. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;">I do feel that The Love Dare has already covered all my faults pretty well though. Between <a href="http://supercandid.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-dare-part-24-every-mans-battlegive.html">my lust</a>, <a href="http://supercandid.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-dare-part-23-goodbye-lenin.html">all the things I got rid of</a>, <a href="http://supercandid.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-dare-part-19-altar-call.html">my general need for Jesus</a>, and the <a href="http://supercandid.blogspot.com/2010/01/love-dare-part-5.html">the previous list of faults Nicole provided</a>, I think I've got my faults pretty well covered by The Love Dare. What could be left by today?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://supercandid.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-dare-part-25-letting-go.html">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon.</a></span><br />
<br />
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This one was easy for me, because I'm not going around bearing long standing grudges against my wife. I can see how it would be hard, but for us at least it was a nice reprieve. I don't have any grudges. Sure, she does some things that bother me, and sure, she makes me mad, hurts my feelings, drives me crazy. But so does everyone I love. <br />
<br />
The hardest thing to forgive is that they just keep driving you out of your mind and you love them, so you can't just say "eff-you" & walk away. You're committed, stuck, in for the long haul. Unfortunatly, that means they'll keep hurting you. And you'll keep hurting them. <br />
<br />
The forgiveness you need isn't a one off, "let's get over this" kind of thing. It's not about some old grudge. It's daily. It's forgiveness that needs to be given each and every day, forever. Because it will always be needed.<br />
<br />
Just like another kind of forgiveness that comes to mind.<br />
<br />
I totally figured out the real agenda of this book a long time ago, and it is NOT to help people who's marriages are going through rough times. Not ordinary rough times anyway. This book is for marriages that are already all but dead. Spoilers, sorry.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://supercandid.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-dare-part-23-goodbye-lenin.html">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon.</a><br />
<br />
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<br />
I've heard this argument before. In books like Every Man's Battle. In youth group. And I've come to believe that it's bull. You can't just kill it, you can't just destroy it. You can't put it out of yourself any more than you can put out the sun. It is a part of you, a part that can cause damage, that can be dangerous and painful, but a part of you none the less. You have to learn to live with it, to control it. Thinking that you can destroy it just leads to self-hatred and frustration. You have to come to understand that lust is a fallen version of the urges that were created perfect in humans, by God. Lust isn't the urge itself, it is an expression of it. <br />
<br />
I read a really great book once, a really fascinating one. It's called <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1931475016?ie=UTF8&tag=jonnssupeawes-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1931475016">I Loved A Girl</a>, </i>a collection letters between two men about sex & God. It is the most honest and open Christian book about sex I've ever read. But it has a fantastic description of lust. Lust is a lion, and you live in a room with it all your life. If you are in control, the way that a lion tamer can be in a circus, you can walk up to the lion and place your head into its mouth without fear or danger. If you're out of control, the lion will sense it and you're finished. THAT, is how to deal with lust. <br />
<br />
Just don't think too much about the metaphorical implications of taking control of lust to the point you can stick your head into its mouth.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://supercandid.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-dare-part-23-goodbye-lenin.html">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon.</a><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'm not sure what to get rid of here. I've already cut out most things that were really keeping Nicole & I from talking to each other. We have just one computer, we don't have cable, we eat dinner together every night. The biggest things that keep us apart these days is the fact that our work schedules don't always line up. There are always some things that I could get rid of, but I can't think of anything that is hindering Nicole & I. Any suggestions? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">But The Love Dare at Amazon</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">.</span><br />
<br />
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</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Another easy one, even if Nicole looked at me strangely when I said this. She asked me why I would love her if she didn't love me. Don't know exactly. I guess at this point in our relationship I don't have much choice. I've invested too much. If it was only a few weeks into our relationship and I said I love you and she said she didn't, then I'd have to be a fool for sticking around. Even now, I guess I'd be kind of a fool if she straight up told me she didn't love me. Maybe marriage is looking like a fool some of the time. </span></span></div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-86545427471405568792010-02-08T22:24:00.003-07:002010-02-08T22:36:12.486-07:00The Love Dare Part 21: Bible Time<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thiry-one - a full month's supply), or readin a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.</span></i></span></div><div>
</div><div>Today's dare reveals a pattern in the second half of the book. These dares are more about you than your spouse. I think I figured out the pattern of this book a while back, and it's now being confirmed. The pattern is genius really. I'll reveal the whole tapestry when I finish the book, but until then I'll keep going. I picked Proverbs, and started reading chapter 1. I haven't read through Proverbs since, probably high school I guess. Those little nuggets of wisdom aren't that compelling reading once you know most of them. However, I did not a couple of neat things that I had forgotten. </div><div>
</div><div>The first is "wisdom," a female embodiment who speaks in the second half of chapter one, is a vindictive woman. She says that because the fools didn't listen to her she'll laugh at their disaster and mock them in calamity. I wonder if some Christians take this verse too seriously. Or if they equate themselves with wisdom.</div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon. </a></div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-9423524140375818192010-02-05T22:48:00.000-07:002010-02-05T22:48:14.889-07:00The Love Dare Part 20: Well...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, "Lord Jesus, I'm a sinner. But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace."</i></span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'm not even going to go into this. The author's follow up the outright altar call of Chapter 19 with a dare to say the sinner's prayer. This dare was left out of the movie Fireproof, but it makes a lot of sense. For some reason doing the Love Dare caused Kirk Cameron's character to become a Christian. I never, in a million years, would have guessed that it was because the book dared him to. I have no idea how to respond to this, and it's taking everything I have not to peek ahead and see if I should just stop now.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #febf72; font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon.</a></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
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<br />
I had to take some time off to consider how to respond to this dare. The chapter that accompanies it is an unabashed altar call. Which I found odd, since the main market for this book is Christians. It reminded me of the times in youth group when the youth leader would issue a kind of altar call to a group of kids who were already attending youth group 2-3 times a week. If we weren't Christians, I don't know what was wrong with us. It felt to me that I should constantly be questioning myself, wondering if I should respond to these altar calls or not. After all, the youth leader kept making them to the same group of us and I hadn't gone yet. Maybe he knew something about my faith that I didn't.<br />
<br />
The point of this chapter was that all these dares, all these challenges, and the love that they spring forth from(or the love that is supposed to spring forth from them), are impossible by yourself. Only through the love that comes through salvation are they possible. <br />
<br />
Anyway, when I reflected upon the previous dares I had no trouble at all doing them. So if I were to take this as a measure of my faith then I'm doing great. <br />
<br />
This sort of "dare" really tries my patience. Yet another Christian bait & switch. The book presents itself as something to help all marriages, but it's really just another religious book that wants to tell me how weak my faith is and how much I need Jesus. <br />
<br />
Look, I know I need Jesus. In fact, I know it so well I went ahead and got Him. I don't need a book that says it's about my marriage but then switches it around halfway through. Next thing you know this book will be telling me how much I hate my father and that Morpheus has the secret to modern manhood.<br />
<br />
The next 21 dares are going to be rough. Hopefully the book improves.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">If you still want to buy The Love Dare, do so at Amazon.</a><br />
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<br />
Dinner wasn't exactly what I had planned. Nicole & I were both not feeling well, and our furnace was on the fritz, so we had kind of a lousy night. I helped her make <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fideo">fideos</a> to settle her stomach, and then she decided that my cheese sandwich looked good, so I made her one of those as well. We spent most of the rest of the night huddled together under a blanket, so I suppose it turned out well. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon.</a><br />
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</script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-31233186498221236452010-01-24T20:55:00.002-07:002010-01-24T21:12:07.378-07:00The Love Dare Part 17: My baby's got a secret.<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>"Determine to guard your mate's secretes (unless they are dangerous to them or you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe."</i></span></span></div><div>
</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">This was a hard one to really get my head around. I read & re-read the chapter, and it seemed to be about trust. Specifically, being trustworthy to your spouse. I found the caveat in this "dare" kind of interesting. I imagine someone asking their wife to tell them a secret, and getting something</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> like "</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Thou shalt get kings, though thou be none," or "Beware the ides of March." </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">None of that really helped me figure out what I was supposed to do. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Anyway, I talked to Nicole about this, and she offered to share secrets. Of course, her secrets were things </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">like "I go out to eat when you work on the weekends." Nothing too exciting. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: nowrap; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon.</a></span></span></span></div><meta charset="utf-8"><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-48518747606109236492010-01-23T09:54:00.004-07:002010-01-23T10:02:22.203-07:00The Love Dare Part 16: Improvement<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>"Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage."</i></span></span></div><div>
</div><div>Praying for Nicole was actually harder than I thought, since most of my prayers are for my own reformation. Corny as it sounds, Nicole actually is practically perfect in my eyes. I eventually did think of some things to pray about, but I think I'll keep them to myself. No need to share my secret hopes for Nicole here.</div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-43811436513894266292010-01-21T21:17:00.002-07:002010-01-21T21:23:47.543-07:00The Love Dare Part 15: And I'm back<div>So I took a break from The Love Dare for a few days to catch up on blog posts and to give it a rest. Doing the Love Dare is hard on a marriage, since Nicole constantly suspects that I'm doing things more for the "dare" than for her. So with a few days off, let's go at it!</div><div>
</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>"Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes."</i></span></span></div><div>
</div><div>This was another hard one . It was hard to come up with anything that I could do for Nicole that I don't already do. She asked me to dinner today, and I bought her a nice appetizer. I made her a snack. I got up early and cooked her breakfast. All of these things are pretty regular, or at least they seem so. </div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Buy your own copy of The Love Dare.</a></div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-37312311965584821622010-01-14T20:16:00.001-07:002010-01-19T20:22:52.970-07:00The Love Dare Part 14: There goes the night<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together."</span></i></span></div><div>
</div><div>I didn't even have to try very hard for today's dare. It was almost done for me. I had plans, going to the gym, working out, something I do daily after work. I was even really looking forward to it, because I'd missed it yesterday. </div><div>
</div><div>Then, just before I get off work, Nicole calls me to tell me that we're having dinner with her sister for her sister's birthday. So there went my night, everything else put on hold until after dinner, at which point it's too late to really do anything else anyway. </div><div>
</div><div>Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against spending time with Nicole's sister or her family in general. But I don't always like having last minute plans made that disrupt what I had thought was going to be an uneventful night. </div><div>
</div><div>I have a feeling this post is going to get me in trouble.</div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-55562068708172076762010-01-13T22:28:00.000-07:002010-01-19T20:16:40.377-07:00The Love Dare Part 13: There ain't no rules in a knife fight<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>"Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs."</i></span></span></div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>This isn't any fun. Fighting, by definition, isn't fair. You don't fight to have a contest of argumenative ability. You don't fight to skill. You fight to win. Just like a war. War isn't about which military is the most sporting. War is about which military is the most effective at destroying the other. </div><div>
</div><div>Nicole & I tried this dare. We sat down for a few minutes before bed, and tried to discuss ways to "fight fair." We said things like "we won't bring up the past," "we'll never use the words always and never," but we knew the truth. When our feelings our hurt, our anger is up, these rules go out the window. </div><div>
</div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon.</a>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-36627756078260222612010-01-12T17:39:00.000-07:002010-01-16T17:47:27.583-07:00The Love Dare Part 12: This is hurting my marriage<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>"Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first."</i></span></span></div><div>
</div><div>Today I ran into a problem in The Love Dare. This is a problem that perhaps only exists in situations like mine, where my marriage is fine and my spouse knows I'm doing the Love Dare. </div><div>The Love Dare is actually hurting my marriage. I say this because for today's dare I let Nicole win in an argument we didn't even have. She wanted to buy something. Normally, I might hem and haw, and insist on checking our bank accounts before she buys something bigger than $20, but today I just let her buy it. </div><div>
</div><div>Then she started asking if I was letting her buy it because I wanted to let her buy it, or because of today's love dare. She was furious that I might have let her get her way simply because of the book. Never mind what I may or may not have done if I wasn't doing the Love Dare. She attributed my actions to me simply trying to follow the book, not out of a genuine desire to let her do it. </div><div>
</div><div>I was thinking of an old quote, which I can't remember the source of, that said something along the lines of "to be a good person, first act as you think a good person might act, and eventually you will yourself become a good person and the actions will come naturally." Dangerous ground here it seems, at least in love. Words of warning for any healthy marriages thinking about injecting a dose of the love dare. </div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Buy The Love Dare at Amazon.</a></div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-19694757376693928002010-01-11T17:05:00.000-07:002010-01-15T17:15:23.538-07:00The Love Dare Part 11: Just for you<div>Today was another easy one.</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i>
</i></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><i>"What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile."</i></span></i></span></span><div>
</div><div>I don't know why these are supposed to be so difficult. I gave Nicole a back & leg massage. She enjoyed it. I watched TV while I did it. Everybody was happy. </div><div>
</div>Sure it wasn't that hard. Sure I do this all the time. But she needed it, and I count that as fulfilling this "dare." Since I do this sort of thing pretty regularly. I'm feeling pretty good about myself in "love dare" standards today.<div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Get your own copy of The Love Dare.</a></div><a href="mailto:supercandid@gmail.com">Email us at supercandid at gmail dot com</a>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-75216157876405616152010-01-10T17:08:00.003-07:002010-01-15T17:14:31.080-07:00The Love Dare Part 10: Unusual<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><i>"Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse - something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage."</i></span></i></span></div><div>
</div><div>I cooked dinner today. I know, I know, sounds pretty standard. But the hard part is that when I usually cook dinner it's something that Nicole hates. Or at least isn't excited about. I'm from the cooking school of frozen chicken breast + instant potatoes = good eats. Not Nicole. The first thing she did in our relationship was take over cooking dinner so that she didn't go crazy from the lack of variety in my meals. </div><div>
</div><div>But today I cooked one of her recipes. To be fair, she helped by telling me what to do. But I made sure she lay on the couch and relaxed while I did all the work. I just brought her stuff to taste and made adjustments according to her instruction. </div><div>
</div><div>All in all, the meal turned out pretty tasty too.</div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Get your own Love Cookbook by buying The Love Dare.</a></div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-1119378767146681052010-01-09T19:39:00.000-07:002010-01-09T19:39:00.292-07:00The Love Dare Part 9: Hello again<div>What an odd dare today.</div><div>
</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">"</span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them."</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">How often do you consciously think about how you greet someone? Greetings are almost invisible to my ears, unless someone says something random like "top of the morning to ya guv'nor!" I had to think hard about how I normally greet Nicole, but I guess most of the time I say something along the lines of "Hey babes!" or "Hey my babies." </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">So today I switched it up with "Hello Darling," with a wink and a smile, I felt like we were a couple of grandparents from the 1940s. I'm not sure if I'm going to do it all the time. This dare seems more focused for people who address their spouse as "hey you," "what's up," or "hello shut up." I think my greeting is pretty good, considering how it is born out of our mutual shorthand.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-17842039594111178102010-01-08T17:32:00.000-07:002010-01-09T17:38:40.002-07:00The Love Dare Part 8:FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!<div>FIRE!</div><div>
</div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"</span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed."</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">You like burning things don't you? I guess the point of the list was in the writing, because here we are, just a day later and I'm being told to burn it. Unfortunatly, I don't have anywhere handy where I can burn a phone book sized thing, so I'm going to have to burn the list in sections. Just kidding. Although I didn't actually burn the list yet. I couldn't exactly take it into the parking lot and burn it at work, and then I left it there, which is the only place I could hide it where Nicole absolutely wouldn't find it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I told Nicole how proud I am of her success in her new teaching position, and the progress she is making towards the next level of her teaching certification. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Compared to the guilt-fest that was yesterdays dare, today's dare was a pyromaniacal dream. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Indulge your own anti-Firefighter fantasies by buying your own copy of The Love Dare</a>.</span></span></div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-21696258809305309122010-01-07T17:24:00.000-07:002010-01-09T17:32:18.869-07:00The Love Dare Part 7<div>The worst dare so far:</div><div>
</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">"</span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute frm the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic."</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">This was just a terrible dare. The preface talked about having two rooms in your heart, calling them the Appreciation Room and the Depreciation Room. Kind of like the Room of Requirement, these are imaginary rooms that you go to when you have something nice or bad to say about your spouse. I did like what they said about the Depreciation Room:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><i>"It's where ammunition is stored for the next big fight."</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I guess calling them the rooms of Love & Hate would too trite. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Anyway, sitting down to write out a list of things I dislike about Nicole was not pleasant. I did the list of things I do like first, since I actually enjoyed that one. But dwelling upon things I didn't like about here was terrible. It was painful. Maybe that was the point, but the book sure didn't talk about it. When you're not in the moment of anger and hatred, focusing on these things about someone you love hurts. In that time of writing down the list, I knew how Nicole felt when I explode at her in anger and start harping on some minor point that I don't like about her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=211189&creative=373489&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&&link_code=as3">Get your own copy of The Love Dare so you can feel like crap too!</a></span></span></div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-45264322515052218852010-01-06T22:48:00.000-07:002010-01-07T11:07:27.288-07:00The Love Dare Part 6<div>I got a comment on a previous post mentioning <a href="http://www.lovedarestories.com/dashboard.aspx">www.lovedarestories.com. </a> It is a site by the publishers of the book for people to share stories about The Love Dare, and to promote the book. There are even Love Dare iPhone apps! Who knew?(check them out on <a href="http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/stat?id=qrfffJk90u0&offerid=146261&type=3&subid=0&tmpid=1826&RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fitunes.apple.com%252Fus%252Fapp%252Fthe-love-dare-40-dares%252Fid319125405%253Fmt%253D8%2526uo%253D6%2526partnerId%253D30" target="itunes_store"><img height="15" width="61" alt="The Love Dare: 40 Dares" src="http://ax.phobos.apple.com.edgesuite.net/images/badgeitunes61x15dark.gif" /></a> )</div><div>
</div><div>The best part: If you're really cheap and don't care about the long sections of explanatory text the preface each dare, you can access the dares for free on their site. </div><div>
</div><div>Day 6's dare:</div><div>
</div><div><i>"Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life."</i></div><div><i>
</i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;color:#FEBF72;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:12px;"> </span></span></div><div>So, I read this whole chapter and I'm still a bit confused by their use of the word "margin." I think they mean where I need to put space so that I don't become irritated. The preface to the dare talks about different things that cause us to become irritated, mainly pride, greed, lust. Vanity, sloth, gluttony, and rage didn't make the cut I guess. I think what they're really getting at is what is in in your own life that makes you feel insecure and causes you to lash out at your spouse. I didn't do too well at not being irritated, since I started off the day getting really irritated at Nicole for running late and disrupting my own morning routine. The rest of the day I think I did ok, and we had a nice evening walk with the dog. </div><div>
</div><div>My list, which I'm limiting at 5 things because it could go on forever I suppose:</div><div>
</div><div>Concern over stability of income</div><div>Frustration at myself when I procrastinate</div><div>Planned or scheduled events being disrupted by unexpected happenings</div><div>My Family</div><div>Being overwhelmed by lots of things that I think need to be done right away</div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0805448853?tag=jonnssupeawes-20&camp=213381&creative=390973&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=0805448853&adid=1B140DGEEEQ58CQ9SGXE&">Buy your own copy of The Love Dare</a>.</div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725114693508127137.post-4914579898058127822010-01-05T17:55:00.000-07:002010-01-06T18:04:52.246-07:00The Love Dare Part 5<div>Today was a doozy:</div><div>
</div><div><i>"Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only."</i></div><div>
</div><div>Man, I would have loved to see this bit in <i>Fireproof</i>. They skipped over dozens of the "dares," and this one would have been a great bit of character development that was lacking in the movie.</div><div>
</div><div>The hardest part was not responding to these comments. Might have stretched Kirk Cameron's acting abilities a bit.</div><div>
</div><div>For the record, Nicole's list was:</div><div>1. I change the way I talk when speaking to people who speak other languages.</div><div>2. I bother her while she's in the bathroom.</div><div>3. I nag her about doing things.</div><div>
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<script src="http://cls.assoc-amazon.com/s/cls.js" type="text/javascript"><br /></script>jonnyflashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06417844872416400954noreply@blogger.com1