Friday, March 5, 2010

The Love Dare Part 27: You're not good enough for me

Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home.  Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it.  Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.

This is an issue Nicole & I have struggled with forever.  Since before we were married.  Usually about silly things, like how often we go to the gym, or how little money we spend on clothes, but sometimes about important things, like when we're going to have children or how we treat our families.

We always expect too much.  We want our spouse to be ourselves, and more.  We want our spouse to be  better than us.  If I blow off a day at the gym, I'll give myself a pass because I'm tired, or hungry, or it's cloudy out or there's a big bee near the car.  If Nicole wants to blow off the gym, suddenly I turn into a mix of coach and nag, alternating between telling her how much she owes it to herself to go to the gym and harranging her about how she doesn't go enough or work out hard enough, or whatever.

Getting past this is just a part of being married, and you'll never really get past it.  You just have to learn to live with it, learn to admit that your spouse is no more perfect than you.

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