Monday, March 22, 2010

The Love Dare Part 28: Lifting a burden.

What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now?  Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part?  Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
Been awhile, sorry.

This is one that I try to do daily.  It's just a part of my life.  Today, I took care of some chores while letting Nicole watch a show she likes on TV.  These are easy kinds of things.  The hard part is when it's really a sacrafice.  When I have to give up something I like for her.  For the most part though, it's not really even a burden.  It's just what I do.

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Friday, March 5, 2010

The Love Dare Part 27: You're not good enough for me

Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home.  Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it.  Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.


This is an issue Nicole & I have struggled with forever.  Since before we were married.  Usually about silly things, like how often we go to the gym, or how little money we spend on clothes, but sometimes about important things, like when we're going to have children or how we treat our families.

We always expect too much.  We want our spouse to be ourselves, and more.  We want our spouse to be  better than us.  If I blow off a day at the gym, I'll give myself a pass because I'm tired, or hungry, or it's cloudy out or there's a big bee near the car.  If Nicole wants to blow off the gym, suddenly I turn into a mix of coach and nag, alternating between telling her how much she owes it to herself to go to the gym and harranging her about how she doesn't go enough or work out hard enough, or whatever.

Getting past this is just a part of being married, and you'll never really get past it.  You just have to learn to live with it, learn to admit that your spouse is no more perfect than you.

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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Love Dare Part 26:How Much I suck

Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing.  Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse.  Do it sincerely and truthfully.  Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well.  No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love.  Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.


This was actually the hardest of the dares so far, since I had to really think about what I could ask for forgiveness for or admit that I have't already done so.  I ended up kind of cheating by asking Nicole to help with this one, and she had a few things to say.  Most of them were things we had already talked about, but it was a good conversation to have.  This might be the most productive of all the love dares yet. 


I do feel that The Love Dare has already covered all my faults pretty well though.  Between my lust, all the things I got rid of, my general need for Jesus, and the the previous list of faults Nicole provided, I think I've got my faults pretty well covered by The Love Dare.  What could be left by today?


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