Monday, February 22, 2010

The Love Dare Part 24: Every Man's Battle(give me a break)

End it now.  Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it.  Single out every lie you've swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it.  Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom.  It must be killed and destroyed - today - and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.

I've heard this argument before.  In books like Every Man's Battle.  In youth group.  And I've come to believe that it's bull.  You can't just kill it, you can't just destroy it.  You can't put it out of yourself any more than you can put out the sun.  It is a part of you, a part that can cause damage, that can be dangerous and painful, but a part of you none the less.  You have to learn to live with it, to control it.  Thinking that you can destroy it just leads to self-hatred and frustration.  You have to come to understand that lust is a fallen version of the urges that were created perfect in humans, by God.  Lust isn't the urge itself, it is an expression of it.

I read a really great book once, a really fascinating one.  It's called I Loved A Girl, a collection letters between two men about sex & God.  It is the most honest and open Christian book about sex I've ever read.  But it has a fantastic description of lust.  Lust is a lion, and you live in a room with it all your life.  If you are in control, the way that a lion tamer can be in a circus, you can walk up to the lion and place your head into its mouth without fear or danger.  If you're out of control, the lion will sense it and you're finished.  THAT, is how to deal with lust.

Just don't think too much about the metaphorical implications of taking control of lust to the point you can stick your head into its mouth.

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Monday, February 15, 2010

The Love Dare Part 23: Goodbye Lenin

Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.


I'm not sure what to get rid of here.  I've already cut out most things that were really keeping Nicole & I from talking to each other.  We have just one computer, we don't have cable, we eat dinner together every night.  The biggest things that keep us apart these days is the fact that our work schedules don't always line up.  There are always some things that I could get rid of, but I can't think of anything that is hindering Nicole & I.  Any suggestions?  


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Friday, February 12, 2010

The Love Dare Part 22: One more time

Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in recieving it. Say to them today in words similar to there, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."
Another easy one, even if Nicole looked at me strangely when I said this. She asked me why I would love her if she didn't love me. Don't know exactly. I guess at this point in our relationship I don't have much choice. I've invested too much. If it was only a few weeks into our relationship and I said I love you and she said she didn't, then I'd have to be a fool for sticking around. Even now, I guess I'd be kind of a fool if she straight up told me she didn't love me. Maybe marriage is looking like a fool some of the time.
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Monday, February 8, 2010

The Love Dare Part 21: Bible Time

Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thiry-one - a full month's supply), or readin a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.
Today's dare reveals a pattern in the second half of the book. These dares are more about you than your spouse. I think I figured out the pattern of this book a while back, and it's now being confirmed. The pattern is genius really. I'll reveal the whole tapestry when I finish the book, but until then I'll keep going. I picked Proverbs, and started reading chapter 1. I haven't read through Proverbs since, probably high school I guess. Those little nuggets of wisdom aren't that compelling reading once you know most of them. However, I did not a couple of neat things that I had forgotten.
The first is "wisdom," a female embodiment who speaks in the second half of chapter one, is a vindictive woman. She says that because the fools didn't listen to her she'll laugh at their disaster and mock them in calamity. I wonder if some Christians take this verse too seriously. Or if they equate themselves with wisdom.
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Friday, February 5, 2010

The Love Dare Part 20: Well...

Dare to take God at His Word.  Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation.  Dare to pray, "Lord Jesus, I'm a sinner.  But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection.  Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace."


I'm not even going to go into this.  The author's follow up the outright altar call of Chapter 19 with a dare to say the sinner's prayer.  This dare was left out of the movie Fireproof, but it makes a lot of sense.  For some reason doing the Love Dare caused Kirk Cameron's character to become a Christian.  I never, in a million years, would have guessed that it was because the book dared him to.  I have no idea how to respond to this, and it's taking everything I have not to peek ahead and see if I should just stop now.

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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Love Dare Part 19: The Altar Call

"Look back over the dares from previous days.  Were there some that seemed impossible to you?  Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love?  Ask Him to how you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination."

I had to take some time off to consider how to respond to this dare.  The chapter that accompanies it is an unabashed altar call.  Which I found odd, since the main market for this book is Christians.  It reminded me of the times in youth group when the youth leader would issue a kind of altar call to a group of kids who were already attending youth group 2-3 times a week.  If we weren't Christians, I don't know what was wrong with us.  It felt to me that I should constantly be questioning myself, wondering if I should respond to these altar calls or not.  After all, the youth leader kept making them to the same group of us and I hadn't gone yet.  Maybe he knew something about my faith that I didn't.

The point of this chapter was that all these dares, all these challenges, and the love that they spring forth from(or the love that is supposed to spring forth from them), are impossible by yourself.  Only through the love that comes through salvation are they possible.

Anyway, when I reflected upon the previous dares I had no trouble at all doing them.  So if I were to take this as a measure of my faith then I'm doing great.

This sort of "dare" really tries my patience.  Yet another Christian bait & switch.  The book presents itself as something to help all marriages, but it's really just another religious book that wants to tell me how weak my faith is and how much I need Jesus.

Look, I know I need Jesus.  In fact, I know it so well I went ahead and got Him.  I don't need a book that says it's about my marriage but then switches it around halfway through.  Next thing you know this book will be telling me how much I hate my father and that Morpheus has the secret to modern manhood.

The next 21 dares are going to be rough.  Hopefully the book improves.

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