The SuperCandid Podcast

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Monday, January 11, 2010

The Love Dare Part 11: Just for you

Today was another easy one.

"What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile."

I don't know why these are supposed to be so difficult. I gave Nicole a back & leg massage. She enjoyed it. I watched TV while I did it. Everybody was happy.

Sure it wasn't that hard. Sure I do this all the time. But she needed it, and I count that as fulfilling this "dare." Since I do this sort of thing pretty regularly. I'm feeling pretty good about myself in "love dare" standards today.

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Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Love Dare Part 10: Unusual

"Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse - something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage."

I cooked dinner today. I know, I know, sounds pretty standard. But the hard part is that when I usually cook dinner it's something that Nicole hates. Or at least isn't excited about. I'm from the cooking school of frozen chicken breast + instant potatoes = good eats. Not Nicole. The first thing she did in our relationship was take over cooking dinner so that she didn't go crazy from the lack of variety in my meals.

But today I cooked one of her recipes. To be fair, she helped by telling me what to do. But I made sure she lay on the couch and relaxed while I did all the work. I just brought her stuff to taste and made adjustments according to her instruction.

All in all, the meal turned out pretty tasty too.

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Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Love Dare Part 9: Hello again

What an odd dare today.

"Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them."

How often do you consciously think about how you greet someone? Greetings are almost invisible to my ears, unless someone says something random like "top of the morning to ya guv'nor!" I had to think hard about how I normally greet Nicole, but I guess most of the time I say something along the lines of "Hey babes!" or "Hey my babies."

So today I switched it up with "Hello Darling," with a wink and a smile, I felt like we were a couple of grandparents from the 1940s. I'm not sure if I'm going to do it all the time. This dare seems more focused for people who address their spouse as "hey you," "what's up," or "hello shut up." I think my greeting is pretty good, considering how it is born out of our mutual shorthand.

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Friday, January 8, 2010

The Love Dare Part 8:FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

FIRE!

"Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed."

You like burning things don't you? I guess the point of the list was in the writing, because here we are, just a day later and I'm being told to burn it. Unfortunatly, I don't have anywhere handy where I can burn a phone book sized thing, so I'm going to have to burn the list in sections. Just kidding. Although I didn't actually burn the list yet. I couldn't exactly take it into the parking lot and burn it at work, and then I left it there, which is the only place I could hide it where Nicole absolutely wouldn't find it.

I told Nicole how proud I am of her success in her new teaching position, and the progress she is making towards the next level of her teaching certification.

Compared to the guilt-fest that was yesterdays dare, today's dare was a pyromaniacal dream.

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Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Love Dare Part 7

The worst dare so far:

"For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute frm the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic."

This was just a terrible dare. The preface talked about having two rooms in your heart, calling them the Appreciation Room and the Depreciation Room. Kind of like the Room of Requirement, these are imaginary rooms that you go to when you have something nice or bad to say about your spouse. I did like what they said about the Depreciation Room:

"It's where ammunition is stored for the next big fight."

I guess calling them the rooms of Love & Hate would too trite.

Anyway, sitting down to write out a list of things I dislike about Nicole was not pleasant. I did the list of things I do like first, since I actually enjoyed that one. But dwelling upon things I didn't like about here was terrible. It was painful. Maybe that was the point, but the book sure didn't talk about it. When you're not in the moment of anger and hatred, focusing on these things about someone you love hurts. In that time of writing down the list, I knew how Nicole felt when I explode at her in anger and start harping on some minor point that I don't like about her.