The Love Dare Part 12: This is hurting my marriage

"Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first."

Today I ran into a problem in The Love Dare. This is a problem that perhaps only exists in situations like mine, where my marriage is fine and my spouse knows I'm doing the Love Dare.

The Love Dare is actually hurting my marriage. I say this because for today's dare I let Nicole win in an argument we didn't even have. She wanted to buy something. Normally, I might hem and haw, and insist on checking our bank accounts before she buys something bigger than $20, but today I just let her buy it.

Then she started asking if I was letting her buy it because I wanted to let her buy it, or because of today's love dare. She was furious that I might have let her get her way simply because of the book. Never mind what I may or may not have done if I wasn't doing the Love Dare. She attributed my actions to me simply trying to follow the book, not out of a genuine desire to let her do it.

I was thinking of an old quote, which I can't remember the source of, that said something along the lines of "to be a good person, first act as you think a good person might act, and eventually you will yourself become a good person and the actions will come naturally." Dangerous ground here it seems, at least in love. Words of warning for any healthy marriages thinking about injecting a dose of the love dare.

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