Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Love Dare Part 13: There ain't no rules in a knife fight

"Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs."
This isn't any fun. Fighting, by definition, isn't fair. You don't fight to have a contest of argumenative ability. You don't fight to skill. You fight to win. Just like a war. War isn't about which military is the most sporting. War is about which military is the most effective at destroying the other.
Nicole & I tried this dare. We sat down for a few minutes before bed, and tried to discuss ways to "fight fair." We said things like "we won't bring up the past," "we'll never use the words always and never," but we knew the truth. When our feelings our hurt, our anger is up, these rules go out the window.
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